You're Not Broken Read online

  “Just go,” she said quietly. “You owe me nothing. And if you did, you’ve paid it all back tenfold.” She turned around, heading back towards the ICU.

  “Just go.”

  Chapter Twenty Four

  The next forty eight hours were the most crucial for Dillon’s recovery. After assessing the severity of his illness, the staff transferred Dillon into a special room, sterilized so that his already weak immunity would not be compromised any further.

  From the minute Dillon was situated in his new room, Kat lived and breathed in a paper mask. Every time she went into his room, she had to don a disposable paper gown and mask.

  Nurses and doctors were constantly filtering in and out. The new medication they were giving Dillon was a very strong strain that would hopefully eradicate the infection in one good blow. But that also meant it would lower his already weakened immunity and health.

  Dr. Greene did warn her that it was a gamble because if one stray germ or wrong cough infected Dillon, worsening his already terrible infection, it could leave to something terminal with no return.

  But it was also his best chance.

  With her heart in her throat, Kat had watched as the doctors and nurses of the Roseton hospital fought to save Dillon’s life. She had always had a grateful heart when she had watched hospital staffs take care of Dillon throughout his many treatments. But she felt particular gratitude for the tireless staff at Roseton Medical.

  The kind nurses understood Kat’s vehement insistence at being near Dillon’s side. With him being in a special sterile room, he was the only patient in the whole room. The nurses brought in a small cot, setting it up for Kat so she could at least have a place to rest her head for a few hours at a time.

  And through it all, Dillon breathed in and out in a slow steady rise and fall of his chest. It pained her to know the only way she was able to be completely sure her brother was alive was by the cold clinical sounds of his heart monitor. She watched as he was constantly jabbed and poked and medicated and checked.

  Kat threaded her fingers through Dillon’s hand. “My poor Dill,” she whispered. Her poor baby brother had practically grown up inside a hospital. Would it never end for him?

  She suddenly felt a gripping sense of panic. She tightened her hold on his hand. She couldn’t lose Dillon. She couldn’t lose her brothers. They were her only family. They were all she had.

  She pressed her forehead against their pressed hands. “Come on, Dill,” she whispered fiercely. She felt their knuckles pressing into her forehead.

  “Come on,” she urged. “Squeeze back for me, Dilly.” She squeezed the bony hand, wanting to feel his long fingers wrap around hers. “Squeeze back.” She pressed their hands, as if willing her strength to flow through him. “Squeeze back! Please!”

  But in the quiet room, only the sounds of machines filled the air. And Dillon’s hand rested limply against her own. Kat sighed. She sighed a deep, deep sigh meant to take the place of all her tears and frustration.

  An irrational part of her wanted to bust Dillon out of the hospital. She knew how much he had grown to hate being in a hospital bed. She knew he would enjoy being in such a sterile and removed room even less.

  Her mind wandered as she tried to get control over her emotions.

  The only time in recent memory she had ever seen Dillon smile was the last time Jason had visited before Dillon had fallen into his coma.

  Dillon, who had never before in his life been interested in sports and always a little envious of athletes and their healthy bodies, had suddenly taken a deep and rapid interest in baseball after meeting Jason.

  Every time Jason walked through the door, Dillon peppered him with questions about each team, the star players, their stats, or their likelihood of maintaining a good season. And with calm patience, Jason answered every question and commented on every theory Dillon came up with.

  Then one day, Jason had come in with a small plastic baggy.

  “What’s that?” Dillon had asked, immediately able to spot anything that looks remotely like a gift.

  Jason lifted up the baggy teasingly before tossing it onto Dillon’s bed. Dillon eagerly turned over the bag’s contents.

  In it were three DVDs. A baseball highlights DVD of the past year, Bull Durham, and a documentary following behind the scenes for a major league team’s whole season.

  Dillon’s eyes widened as he look at each DVD as if he were admiring the discovery of a lost treasure.

  He then looked up at Jason with a slow grin. “Which one should we watch first?” he asked, clearly expecting everyone to stay for at least one movie.

  Jason pulled up a chair. “Let’s put on Bull Durham. It’ll get nice and awkward between you and your sis and I want to be here to see that.” He grinned, crossing his arms.

  Kat, never having seen the movie, had no idea what she was talking about. But she soon found out when she blushed furiously at have to watch the few lines of sexy banter and sex scenes with her little brother.

  She wanted to kick Jason’s chair out from under him and he seemed to see her intention on her face. He scooted his chair a few inches forward while laughing.

  Jason.

  Of course she had been thinking about him. With every spare moment between waking and sleeping, she thought about him. And she replayed their last conversation over and over again in her head.

  She had at first been mad at what looked like Jason’s cowardice. She had been panicked over Dillon and running on pure adrenaline. Her emotions had flown higher and faster than she had ever experienced. And that had caused her to feel anger first and foremost at Jason.

  But as the hours passed by Dillon’s bedside, Kat recalled their conversation.

  “Have you ever seen that scar on Al’s forehead? Near his temple? Or how about that dent in Dave’s forearm? Ever seen that?”

  Of course she had noticed those scars. Al’s scar was long and faded but she could still see the whitened scar tissue as it ran down his temple. And it was hard not to notice Dave’s arm. He worked in short sleeve shirts and his right forearm had a huge dent where a chunk of flesh was missing.

  She could see why Jason would point those out to her. Because it was scary to see. It was scary to see what Jason had done when in the throes of his PTSD. She remembered that night when they had gone to pick up Al from his bender. She remembered how Jason had suddenly turned and punched the wall out of nowhere.

  Yes, she understood the danger.

  But Jason was overlooking something. She had spent weeks with him, watching him, observing him. She had seen him take firm leadership over his employees. She had watched him quietly charm that stubborn Malcolm by guiding him through a man’s rite of passage in manual labor. And she had witnessed him bringing in every force possible to save her town because he remembered how much it meant to her.

  Yes, he had darkness. But he had so much more in goodness. He couldn’t see that side of him though because all he could focus on was the scars he had left around him.

  But if he were not a man of quality, of character, would people like Al or Dave have stayed?

  Kat sighed. She closed her aching eyes and prayed. She didn’t know what she prayed for specifically. All she knew was that she wanted to pray.

  Pray for strength. Pray for healing.

  ***

  “He’s a tough one,” Dr. Greene said, with a twinkle in his eye and lines of relief on his face. “He’s pulled through the worst of it. Now he just needs some rest to recover from him ordeal.”

  Kat stared up at the doctor from her seat by Dillon’s bed. She had noticed that his fever had broken and that the nurses had come to check in on him less frequently but she hadn’t dared to let herself hope for too much.

  “Really?” she whispered. “The infection…it’s all clear?”

  Dr. Greene nodded, giving her a rare smile. “He’s beat the worst of it. He’s on the road to recovery.”

  Kat bit her lip as she looked down at her brother
. “When will he open his eyes?” she asked, aching to hold him in her arms. Her heart felt as light as a feather.

  “That might be awhile yet,” the doctor said. “He’s extremely weak from fighting the infection. But I wanted you to know that he’s good now. We got him.”

  We got him. How sweet those words sounded to her ears!

  Kat smiled, her lips trembling. “Thank you, Dr. Greene,” she whispered. “I don’t know what else to say but thank you so much.”

  Dr. Greene shook his head. “Your brother did all the fighting. He’s tough,” he said. The doctor paused before giving her a warm look. “Your brother is safe now. Why don’t you go out and get some fresh air? I think you’ve only seen the inside of this room for the last two days.”

  Kat looked down at her brother, hesitant to leave his side even after the good news.

  “I promise you, he’ll just be resting for the next few hours,” Dr. Greene assured. “You’ve done everything just right. You’ve earned a little break.”

  Kat nodded slowly. Some fresh air did sound like a good idea.

  Taking the doctor’s suggestion, she stepped out of the hospital and walked down its front walkway. At the end of the walkway was a row of flowers. Kat slowly breathed in and out, letting the cool air soothe her frazzled brain. She was surprised to see the dusky evening sky above her. She had completely lost track of time.

  Where was Jason now? Peytonville? Or perhaps he had already packed up and left for his next job? If that had been his—

  “Kat?”

  Kat whirled around and saw Jason standing on the opposite end of the walkway, a dark shadow of stubble around his jaw.

  “Jason!” she cried out in surprise. He was still here!

  She looked around him and saw his truck parked down the street. Why was he still here? Had he been here the last two days?

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, breathlessly.

  Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “I said I wasn’t going to leave until I heard Dillon nag you about that chopper ride.” He lifted his dark green eyes to her, making her heart skip a beat. “And I meant it.”

  “Oh,” Kat replied, not knowing what else to say.

  “How is he? How’s Dillon?” Jason asked.

  Kat sighed, feeling that same wave of relief at knowing her brother was okay now. “He’s fine. He’s going to make it.”

  Jason’s shoulders slumped in release. He let out a stream of air as he closed his eyes. “Good,” he said quietly.

  Kat was touched by how much he had clearly been worried. She felt her own shoulders ache from being held to tightly for the last forty eight hours.

  Jason opened his eyes and looked her over. “You look exhausted,” he said. “I’m guessing you haven’t really slept at all.”

  “The nurses set up a cot for me,” Kat shrugged. “I got to nap a little here and there.”

  Jason shook his head. “Not really sleeping then,” he said. He reached out an arm. “There’s an inn nearby. I rented a room there in case you wanted a real bed to sleep on.” He looked at her, a face totally prepared for her rejection.

  “You rented a room for me?” she asked, surprised.

  Jason nodded.

  He really had been waiting for her. Too tired to argue, she followed him down the street to a small inn. Jason led her inside and up the stairs to a room. Opening the door, the bed was still made immaculately. Nothing in the room looked touched. So he had booked the room, but hadn’t slept in it.

  He hadn’t been waiting by his truck for her this whole time…had he?

  “Why don’t you get some rest? I can go get some food for you so you can eat something before you go to bed.” It was clear Jason meant for her to have the bed to herself.

  Kat lifted a hand to him, reaching her fingers for him. “Come here,” she said.

  Jason stared at her hand before taking it. His entire hand completely swallowed her own. She pulled him towards the bed and he came without resisting.

  As he sat, the bed sank heavily towards his end. Kat was pulled closer to him.

  “Jason,” she said, too tired for preamble or pretense. “I love you. And I want to be with you. And if you respect me as a woman and an adult, you’d know that I can make my own choices and take my own risks.” She looked up at him, brushing a hand against his coarse stubble. “And you’re no risk. You’re a sure thing. You’re a good man and someone I want to be with.”

  Jason’s eyes had closed briefly at her touch. He then had stared at her, clearly also too exhausted for more arguing. “I’ll bruise you,” he said quietly. “I might hurt you.”

  Kat shook her head. “Don’t you think I might do the same to you?” she whispered.

  Kat felt the heat of their bodies grow between them. “Nobody is perfect and I don’t expect you to be an exception,” she said slowly. “I just want you.”

  Her words hung in the air as their bodies sat frozen next to each other. Each of them felt the other wrestling with their heart, knowing what they want and wanting to act on it.

  Finally Jason cupped the back of her neck, tilting her head up towards him. “I love you, Kat Ryans,” he said quietly, his low voice sending a ripple of pleasure through her.

  Immediately peaceful contentment burst through Kat’s heart. Her whole body felt so at peace with itself. The stress of the last two days with Dillon and Jason melted away from her body.

  “I love you, Jason Daniels,” she whispered.

  It was the last thing she was able to say before Jason took her in his arms, burying his tongue within her. Kat melted against him, wanting nothing more than to be with him.

  She welcomed his mouth, stroking his tongue with her own. She shuddered at the difference in his kiss. She could feel him now exploring and owning her mouth a sense of something akin to…permanence. He meant to keep her. She was his and he had lost all his restraint. He wanted to explore all of her.

  With one arm around her waist, he leaned her back and lifted her up the bed. With urgent hands, they quickly undressed each other, feeling as if this was actually their real first time coupling. There was a beautiful weight of permanence and reality between them. This was for real.

  Jason’s rough hands grabbed and squeezed her breasts, making Kat cry out as sparks of pleasure shot through her. Jason’s hands traveled over her, marveling over every curve, every softness, until finally his fingers found her growing wetness.

  Kat gasped as his fingers expertly played with her swollen wet tissues, teasing and urging her down deeper into the spiral of heated passion. Her world became full of touch and fire, nothing more.

  With firm strokes, his fingers slipped down her pussy. Every so often, his thumb would brush over her clit, making her shake with anticipated need. And just when she didn’t think she could take it any longer, Jason plunged two thick fingers deep into her.

  Kat threw her back and cried out as she felt him plunge into her again and again.

  “Baby, you look so beautiful as you’re coming,” Jason muttered hotly into her ear, as he continued to plunge into her, milking out every last shudder and shake from her orgasm.

  Kat turned in his arms, searching for his lips. His rough stubble scratched against her as he took her lips, kissing her fiercely.

  “I want to feel you,” she whispered against his lips. “I want to feel you inside me.”

  Jason groaned at her words, his cock hardening against her thigh. Quickly, he rolled over her, pinning her down with his body.

  Pulling her wrists above her head and capturing them with one hand, he lowered his head to take in one of her nipples, laving it with his tongue. Kat moaned, pleasure shooting straight from her breasts to her pussy.

  He made sure to give her other breast the same attention. So lost in the haze of pleasure, she didn’t feel Jason wedging himself between her knees. And with quick power, he thrust his sizeable cock deep into her warmth.

  Kat arched her back but had no place to escape with her arms
pinned above her. She cried out as Jason’s cock impaled her completely. Its thickness deliciously pulled out of her, inch by inch.

  He plunged in again, hard and deep. Kat could hardly keep herself from floating out into the ether of ecstasy. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even deeper in her.

  Jason groaned as he thrust in again. “Sweetheart,” he breathed above her, “you feel so fucking good.” He thrust in again. “I never want to go a day without feeling you.” He thrust in hard. “Like this.” Kat cried out again as his cock stretched her without mercy.